The Casual Observer | Satire | The Air is Still Free…For Now (Vol. 1)
There was a time when television was free. Most places had only three channels. Then the talk began about Pay TV. Why should we have to pay to watch television? ‘No commercials’ was the promise. We all know how that one ended up. Cable TV and internet are some of the more considerable monthly household expenses.
Does water work for you? It used to be free, but unless you have a ‘well,’ you must purchase it. And you’re not buying it… you’re renting it.
I bring these two examples up as a warning. I am sure you can think of many free things we now have to pay for, but what lies in waiting for us? Even now, minds are at work figuring out more ways to squeeze money from us for ordinary conveniences.
Here are some unimaginable possibilities:
. Why should your car’s heat, air conditioning, electricity, and radio be free? Perhaps monthly car utility bills are coming? If you drive after dark, a headlight charge may be in order, and after three free beeps on your horn, the meter starts keeping track. There are no more spare tires in the trunk. Roadside service will rent one to you. I’m not sure about windshield wipers, but give it time.
Airlines are the ‘Gold Standard’ for squeezing bucks out of their passengers. There are extra charges for almost everything. Very little is free, and don’t blink on that fact.
Unlimited Free toilet flushes? Ridiculous. You can only count on that for a bit longer. Parking at the grocery store? Well, the closest 50 spaces should have a convenience charge. Shopping carts should be rented with time limits, and only one pass should be allowed in each aisle. Revisiting the same aisle should involve a toll. Ripe bananas, avocados, and such should have a ripening surcharge.
. There should be a return fee if you want to return an item. A GPS fee should be assessed if you need to ask where a store item can be found. For clothing, a fitting fee is necessary should you want to try it in one of the coin-operated fitting rooms.
. Why should beer be offered in six-packs? Four packs at the same price might be better. The grocery stores have already figured out packaging proportions. Some vacuum-packed chicken has three chicken breasts. Why? So if you need four, you have to buy six. I saw the same strategy with high-end ice cream bars. Packages of three. Is it clever or just a way to squeeze more money from the consumer? And all the meat, chicken, salmon, etc., that is about to expire on the shelf? They cook it and sell it to you as prepared food at a higher price.
Breathe deep; the Air is free.